The difference between the life you have now and the life you want

how to leverage the power of relationships like a dog

---

Fourteen thousand years ago, the wolf world split into two factions.

The first group was a pack of blood thirsty predators, that wouldn’t hesitate tearing a clan of nomadic humans apart.

The second group was a kinder, and slightly cuter, type of wolf. These wolves would sit around the fire with us, and in exchange, we’d throw them some scraps of meat and bones after our dinner.

Over time, they started to follow us around, and together we lived in harmony.

Now and again, the dangerous wolves would make their way into our camps, and kill a human or two. They’d eat well that night, but after a glorious meal, they’d have to set out again tomorrow, to fill their empty bellies.

The kinder cuter wolves, however, would be thrown table scraps each and every day. They didn’t really have to hunt anymore, as long as they weren’t a nuisance to us humans.

Today, those docile little wolves live in our houses, and are called dogs. They eat 3 square meals a day, get groomed, and even go to the dentist. There are just about 90 million dogs in the United States today, and only 15,000 wolves.

Are you acting like a dog or a wolf?

Wolves lost the evolutionary long-game because they would rather eat a human, than be fed by a human. They’d rather satiate their hunger today, than experience unfathomable prosperity for the rest of their lives.

We do the same thing when we become overly attached to our most pressing ambitions. When we need to get that promotion by the time we’re 32, or we need to buy a house before we’re 45.

When we try to compress all of our hopes and dreams into neat and tidy little timelines, we’re sacrificing the treasures of tomorrow, for the chance of a steak dinner tonight.

The difference between the life you have now and the life you want

When we’re pressed for time, we’ll seek expedited outcomes to our most immediate desires. If other people are involved, and they almost always are, there can be unintended casualties.

If a relationship comes between us and our immediate goals, more often than not, we perform a certain type of dark magic on them. Transforming a once beautiful and reciprocal relationship, into a mechanical utility.

Which is unfortunate because the difference between the life you have now, and the life you want, is just a series of people you have yet to meet. By turning these connections into transactions, you’re eroding the future treasures these relationships could hold.

And I’m not only talking about the warm and fuzzies you get from having a great friend. I’m also talking about the fact that people (not dollars), hold the keys to your wildest dreams. The keys to fame, wealth, travel, family, health, love, success, and even meaning. The pathway to any of these, first starts with a human connection.

So instead of thinking like wolves, focused on maximizing today’s kill, maybe we should take a cue from their far more successful counterparts.

Give one hundred times

When we give, and give, and give, and give, and give, it’s like we’re making deposits in a relationship bank account. Day after day, we’re storing goodwill and trust.

The paradox is, it’s usually people who have made the fewest deposits that are asking to take the biggest withdrawals. Rarely are our best friends asking for favors. Instead, it’s people we’re meeting for the first time, or complete strangers on LinkedIn.

It’s like a bloodthirsty wolf strolling into camp, and asking for dental care. Not gonna happen, bub.

Instead, what If we built relationships like dogs. Being fiercely loyal, and not rushing the process of trust. How can we do this? Well, we can start by giving 100 times.

By giving 100 times, we’re building up massive stores of goodwill, and investing in relationships in the truest sense. Generosity—without any expectation of repayment—elevates all those around us. That act, in and of itself, is one of life’s most fulfilling rewards.

Giving 100 times means that we offer favors, just for the hell of it. It means that we start each new conversation with, “How can I help you?”. It means that we go out of our way, make concessions, and act in the best interest of others.

By expanding our timelines beyond what’s for dinner today, we can begin manifesting a more radical vision of the future. One where, selfless acts don’t diminish us, but instead elevate everyone.

After all, both humans and dogs are better off as a result of our relationship.

Be a dog, not a wolf.

—Zac